yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
