we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
