I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
