so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
