Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
