It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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