I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
