I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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