We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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