Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
