ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
