we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So much rum. So many feels.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
