I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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