I cockslap morals
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
