Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
