so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
