im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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