yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
