I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
