i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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