I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
