i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
