you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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