Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just had sex on a roof
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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