I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
