There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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