You really coming over, don't trick.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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