so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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