it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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