i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
MIDGETS
????
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
