You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
