Jerry, you need to find god
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
