just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
