I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
