Three words: puerto rican gang bang
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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