Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
