how can u be prego again
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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