he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
