Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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