garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
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