Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
