FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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