normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
