the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
