I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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