Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize