I smell stomach acid.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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