You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
