if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
