That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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