Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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