Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
