Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
